Why Planning Your Funeral Wishes Really Matters (And How to Make It Simple for Your Loved Ones)
Thinking about what happens after you’re gone isn’t exactly cocktail party conversation. But as we get older, and especially if we’re lucky enough to have a big, blended family, one of the kindest things we can do is tell our loved ones exactly what we want for our funeral or memorial. That’s the big takeaway from our chat with Larae Schraeder of Schraeder Law on “Looking Forward Our Way.”
So you’ve named someone to handle your finances and medical care if something happens. But have you told anyone, legally, who should be in charge of your funeral or what happens to your body? Most people haven’t! In Ohio, there’s a special document just for this, your declaration for disposition of remains. It’s been around since 2006, but almost nobody knows about it 03:13.
Basically, it lets YOU decide who calls the shots, not just the chain of next-of-kin. No more “Well, the law says your cousin’s ex-stepbrother decides.” You make the call. And that can save your family a lot of headaches.
Families Are Complicated. Your Funeral Wishes Should Be Simple
Let’s face it. Families aren’t always straightforward. Kids are scattered across the country (or the world!), people get remarried, and not everyone sees eye-to-eye. This can make funerals and memorials surprisingly complicated. Having a declaration means you’ve picked ONE person (or maybe an alternate or two) to coordinate things, rather than risking drama, confusion, or even court battles 07:15. Or forcing your 95-year-old mom to make tough calls she just can’t handle 17:19.
“I Don’t Really Care—Let Them Handle It!” (That’s OK Too)
Not a control freak? You might think, “Eh, do whatever’s simplest.” That’s actually pretty common! You can totally fill out the declaration, choose your person, and just give them ‘full discretion’ to make any choice that feels right in the moment 09:06. You don’t need a 10-page “Death Playlist” unless you want one (though we get a kick out of the people who make those, too).
The real peace of mind comes from your loved ones knowing you trusted them to do what makes sense. And that you won’t be haunting them for their casket choices.
Don’t Bury Your Funeral Wishes in Your Will
You might think, “It’s in my will. Good enough!” Not so fast! As Larae Schraeder pointed out, wills are often in a safe deposit box or at your lawyer’s office, and nobody’s reading them in those critical first 48 hours when decisions need made 13:02. The declaration, meanwhile, should be handy and shared with whoever needs it ASAP.
Who Pays? (And How to Avoid Awkwardness)
Money doesn’t have to complicate things, either, but it can. The person handling your remains isn’t automatically the one who has access to pay for the funeral. Which is why the declaration lets you note where the money should come from (your estate, pre-paid plans, insurance, etc.) 29:52. It’s a great opportunity to make sure the practical ducks are in a row, not just emotional ones.
What If There’s a Big Family Meltdown?
Didn’t pick someone? Can’t agree? In Ohio, the local probate court can get involved. And while they do move this along quickly, nobody wants their goodbye handled by a judge if they can help it 20:14.
Bottom Line: It’s a Gift
Here’s the heart of it: Making these decisions isn’t about being morbid, it’s about kindness. You’re saving your loved ones from guessing, disagreeing, or worrying whether they made the right call. And if you want to update your plans later, you can! 25:32.
If you don’t live in Ohio, just call a local funeral home and ask about your options. They’re usually thrilled when someone wants to get proactive 28:20.
No one likes paperwork, but this one is simple and meaningful. “Mortality’s running about 100% in Ohio,” Larae Schraeder joked 27:52, and she’s right. None of us get a pass. So spend a few minutes today thinking about your wishes and who you trust. Then—tell them, and write it down. Your future self (and your future family) will thank you.
5 Frequently Asked Questions Ohio’s Disposition of Remains Law
- What is Ohio’s Disposition of Remains law?
Ohio’s Disposition of Remains law, passed in 2006, lets you legally appoint someone to make decisions about your funeral and final arrangements, separate from your will or financial plans 02:50. - Who can make decisions if I don’t complete a declaration?
If you don’t have a declaration, Ohio law defaults to your next of kin in a specific order: spouse, children, parents, siblings, and so on 04:09, 16:08. - Should my funeral wishes instructions be in my will?
No. Wills are often not immediately accessible after death and may not be effective for funeral decisions. A disposition declaration should be readily available 13:02-14:21. - What happens if my family disagrees on my funeral arrangements?
If there’s conflict and no declaration, the probate court can intervene to resolve disputes and authorize final arrangements 20:14. - Does the person I appoint have to pay for my funeral?
Not necessarily. The declaration may list the source of funds, usually your estate, and the person appointed does not automatically have access to your finances 29:43.
